Facebook reminds me 1 year ago today we boarded a plane and left Malawi. Tears flowed as friends and colleagues waved us off in the school bus. The cocktail of emotions was immense: sadness at all we were leaving; relief to finally have a flight after months of uncertainty; excitement to be reunited with loved ones back home.
We cannot believe a whole year has passed:
• A year without my favourite open-air swim
• A year without seeing those striking mountains – Ndirande, Nyambadwe, Soche, Michiru and the incomparable Mount Mulanje
• A year without seeing the beautiful faces of our Malawi friends, colleagues and students
• A year without the heat of the sun (well, there has been some sunshine these past few weeks, but it is not the same!)
• A year without epic road trips
• A year of not screaming at the other road users
• A year of constant power, water and Wi-Fi
• A year of total food choice and online shopping (and my, we’ve needed it)
• A year of adjusting to our 4 new schools
• A year of being able to walk to school…on pavements
• A year of COVID chaos
• A year of still not being able to see most of our family and friends
• And yet a year of being 4 minutes’ walk away from family.
It is impossible to know if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of returning. We just know that we miss it. Every day. All the time. Daily we compare our lives. Moment by moment our hearts fly black to a place, a face, a race.
They say Africa gets in your blood. I don’t know the whole continent of Africa; I only had the privilege to visit 7 of her nations. But bearing in mind, this was a continent that had never been on my bucket list, it sure has burned an indelible mark on my soul. More than anywhere else I have lived or visited. Yes, I often think back to France, Singapore, Cambodia and other countries I’ve been blessed to visit, but the African memories seem to burn brighter…time will tell if that remains true.
I now see why Steve spent a decade reminiscing and persuading me to take an African Adventure with him!
So, coming back to the questions at the top that people often ask…
Do you miss Malawi? Yes, achingly, all the time. But then I have to remember how achingly I missed family here, when I was there.
Do you regret coming back? There have been days this year when we have; when the return to British education has felt stifling and the COVID regulations have been suffocating. The life/work balance evaporated and once again we can feel more distant from our own children. The maelstrom of pandemic life has sapped our energy in a society with less respect for the teaching profession than we had been used to. The sheer physical demand of changing classroom and building, every lesson, up to 8 times a day, has taken its toll.
And the things I would do to de-stress have been painfully less available, like swimming. Our city pool reopened a couple of months back, but I have to organise myself 2 WEEKS in advance to book to go! And this week, the anniversary week, my NHS app pinged, and I cannot even leave the house, have a walk, swim or go for a bike ride. The day after isolation I would love to go to church, but when I look online, it is ‘at capacity’! And so I continue to attend CPC Blantyre online and feel spurred on by the joy of the worship and the simple truth of the preaching. Midweek Lectio365 enables me to find peace in daily meditation.
And yet, on balance, I do not regret coming home. It was so important to respect our eldest’s wishes to come home and for her this has been significant (not that she hasn’t also experienced regret). We knew it was the right time and the right decision. If you think back to my 2019 year-long fast from alcohol, to pray for our 2020 mission to find all the pieces of this oh-so-complex puzzle…it seemed an impossible mountain to climb. We must have applied to over 40 schools across the north and northeast. Between us we flew back 3 times for 6 interviews. It wasn’t just us getting turned down; Izzy also got rejected by 5 schools, as the great schools up here are all full! But then, the miracle really happened! We both secured good jobs at schools, not just in the same city, but ON THE SAME ROAD! Izzy found a place at a school a short bus ride away, where we had not even applied! And Piran has had a year at the very school where mum is a governor. Mum and Helen found us a house, equidistant between them, that we bought without even seeing! And it is PERFECT for us.
How can I really regret coming back? Yes, it has been hard. VERY hard. But everything was provided for us to settle back here in North Yorkshire, so close to where I grew up. We even have Steve’s family 90 minutes away, which feels like icing on the cake.
And as life begins to open up again, we will be able to swim, hike, cycle. We will make the most of this beautiful landscape. And we will road trip again. Next month we will see more family and friends. There are so many places in Europe we would like to see (again). The kids will take advantage of opportunities less available in Malawi. And perhaps, just perhaps, our second year in our schools will be less stressful, we will know the systems better, and some life/work balance will return. Either way, there will be meals at mum’s and walks and wine with my sister. Piran will play football with his big cousins. Our Yorkshire life is blessed indeed.
Out of Africa: Yorkshire adventure 